We are in trying times. Emotional challenges in trying times can look very different than when in non-trying times. When stressed, one tends to have more awareness of the world around them and less awareness of their own inability to handle that world. So the best time to develop a strategy for handling emotional challenges is when the atmosphere is calm and peaceful. It is not the best strategy to attempt long term solutions when the air is peaked with testy testosterone or feisty estrogen. Sometimes, trying times and emotional challenges can lead us to challenge the tenets of our faith.
Faith challenges often take us to the core of our beliefs. These challenges can affect our emotional health and vice versa. What you believe affects how you behave. A popular psychologist, Albert Ellis, developed Rational Emotive Belief Therapy (REBT) in the mid-1950's. His basic premise was that it is your belief about life and things that causes you to have internal discord. Without going too deeply into a discourse about REBT, which is not the purpose of this discussion, it is important to note that Ellis (1959) determined that individuals have the capacity to change their outcomes by changing their beliefs about a situation. A theologian, Dr. Paul Carlin (1997) coined his intervention, Belief Therapy and the Therapon Institute to treat disorders related to what people believe. Dr. Carlin believes that "people do what they do because they believe what they believe." He admits that his Belief Therapy is based on Ellis' REBT concepts yet integrates the value of scripture.
So why a discourse on beliefs? Beliefs impact and directly influence our emotional selves. What we believe about ourselves directly impacts how we feel about ourselves. If we believe that we will get through a difficult situation because we are strong, capable individuals, then we will get through it. Yet, if we believe that we are incapable of handling anything, we will have anxiety about getting through a difficult time. Inherently, our internal self-talk motivates our outward behaviors. Who we are on the inside dictates our outward appearance. Have you heard it said, "you are what you eat?" In other words, adolescents who eat high fat diets can have a higher incidence of acne. If you eat too much food in general, you will gain weight beyond your ability to carry that weight. It is the same way with what you believe. If you believe that you are ugly, you act in ugly ways either in attitudes, or in the way that you dress. So how does one change what they believe? It is important to look at truth. For Christians, our source of truth, is the Scriptures. We find out who we are by looking at God's Word. We know who we are by reading the words written to us by a loving, Heavenly Father. Words that state that we are "fearly and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139.14) and that nothing can separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). If I believe that I am wonderfully made, then I can believe that I am special. If I can believe that nothing can separate me from the love of God, then I can be securely attached to God knowing that nothing I do can separate me from His love. These are truths that can be anchors when in emotional turmoil. Beliefs are not only about spiritual things. Beliefs are about everything that we hold to be true. They are about the world that we know. Individuals often get shaky when their political beliefs are challenged. Some individuals cannot handle having their beliefs under a microscope. Their belief system is so entrenched that for anyone to begin to look at what they believe is interpreted as an attack against their person hood. Yet, for growth to take place, one MUST look at their belief structure. It is important to understand whether or not you can allow others to have their beliefs without challenging your own beliefs and vice versa. Accepting another individuals beliefs does not mean that you have to embrace them, it just means that you've come to understand them. There is wisdom in understanding. Much of the conflict in today's world is based in the inability to understand one another.
So how do we get to a place of peace and calm in the midst of such a tumultuous time? The first act that we can make is to acknowledge that faith in an unseen God is a choice. Secondly, personal beliefs are just that, personal beliefs. The restructuring of belief is something that is done not through brow beating, bullying, forcefully demanding one's own way, or by ramming of ideology down one's throat, it is accomplished through loving discourse, acceptance and acknowledgement that the other person sitting in front of you is of value and worth. If they want to change their beliefs, they will let you know. If they don't, they will also let you know. Respect acknowledges the difference. Personal peace and calm comes from knowing the truth... for a Christian, that means reading God's Word, memorizing what it says about you, and applying it to your life. There is truth in many walks of life... we can learn from one another if we are willing.
With that... I lovingly take my leave....
Ramy
