We are in trying times. Emotional challenges in trying times can look very different than when in non-trying times. When stressed, one tends to have more awareness of the world around them and less awareness of their own inability to handle that world. So the best time to develop a strategy for handling emotional challenges is when the atmosphere is calm and peaceful. It is not the best strategy to attempt long term solutions when the air is peaked with testy testosterone or feisty estrogen. Sometimes, trying times and emotional challenges can lead us to challenge the tenets of our faith.
Faith challenges often take us to the core of our beliefs. These challenges can affect our emotional health and vice versa. What you believe affects how you behave. A popular psychologist, Albert Ellis, developed Rational Emotive Belief Therapy (REBT) in the mid-1950's. His basic premise was that it is your belief about life and things that causes you to have internal discord. Without going too deeply into a discourse about REBT, which is not the purpose of this discussion, it is important to note that Ellis (1959) determined that individuals have the capacity to change their outcomes by changing their beliefs about a situation. A theologian, Dr. Paul Carlin (1997) coined his intervention, Belief Therapy and the Therapon Institute to treat disorders related to what people believe. Dr. Carlin believes that "people do what they do because they believe what they believe." He admits that his Belief Therapy is based on Ellis' REBT concepts yet integrates the value of scripture.
So why a discourse on beliefs? Beliefs impact and directly influence our emotional selves. What we believe about ourselves directly impacts how we feel about ourselves. If we believe that we will get through a difficult situation because we are strong, capable individuals, then we will get through it. Yet, if we believe that we are incapable of handling anything, we will have anxiety about getting through a difficult time. Inherently, our internal self-talk motivates our outward behaviors. Who we are on the inside dictates our outward appearance. Have you heard it said, "you are what you eat?" In other words, adolescents who eat high fat diets can have a higher incidence of acne. If you eat too much food in general, you will gain weight beyond your ability to carry that weight. It is the same way with what you believe. If you believe that you are ugly, you act in ugly ways either in attitudes, or in the way that you dress. So how does one change what they believe? It is important to look at truth. For Christians, our source of truth, is the Scriptures. We find out who we are by looking at God's Word. We know who we are by reading the words written to us by a loving, Heavenly Father. Words that state that we are "fearly and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139.14) and that nothing can separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). If I believe that I am wonderfully made, then I can believe that I am special. If I can believe that nothing can separate me from the love of God, then I can be securely attached to God knowing that nothing I do can separate me from His love. These are truths that can be anchors when in emotional turmoil. Beliefs are not only about spiritual things. Beliefs are about everything that we hold to be true. They are about the world that we know. Individuals often get shaky when their political beliefs are challenged. Some individuals cannot handle having their beliefs under a microscope. Their belief system is so entrenched that for anyone to begin to look at what they believe is interpreted as an attack against their person hood. Yet, for growth to take place, one MUST look at their belief structure. It is important to understand whether or not you can allow others to have their beliefs without challenging your own beliefs and vice versa. Accepting another individuals beliefs does not mean that you have to embrace them, it just means that you've come to understand them. There is wisdom in understanding. Much of the conflict in today's world is based in the inability to understand one another.
So how do we get to a place of peace and calm in the midst of such a tumultuous time? The first act that we can make is to acknowledge that faith in an unseen God is a choice. Secondly, personal beliefs are just that, personal beliefs. The restructuring of belief is something that is done not through brow beating, bullying, forcefully demanding one's own way, or by ramming of ideology down one's throat, it is accomplished through loving discourse, acceptance and acknowledgement that the other person sitting in front of you is of value and worth. If they want to change their beliefs, they will let you know. If they don't, they will also let you know. Respect acknowledges the difference. Personal peace and calm comes from knowing the truth... for a Christian, that means reading God's Word, memorizing what it says about you, and applying it to your life. There is truth in many walks of life... we can learn from one another if we are willing.
With that... I lovingly take my leave....
Ramy
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Friday, August 12, 2011
Friday, April 13, 2007
Forward Motion on the Journey
Today, I received word from my professor that I had passed my final clinical for my master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. This has been two years in the waiting. My expression was an elated YIPPEE!!! My children were excited and I laughed as my daughter stated VERY clearly, "Mom, make sure you finish the second master's degree before you start the third one." Of course, this is the first one and I am working on a second one already.
They must really know me. Today is such a momentous day for me. It feels as though I have been let out of the race gate and I have finally crossed the finish line. The race was long and tedious, but well worth the effort. There were hardships along the way; some that I thought would literally crush me... at one point, I critically understood how it felt to have a dearly, loved child taken from me and held in a facility that was unjust and unkind to him. I learned how to advocate for him; how to believe in him; how to visit him and remind him that he truly was and is a son of God and God Himself would act on his behalf. Some of these things I can talk about, some I can not talk about, but it caused me to delay my final clinical. Some of these events caused me to rethink my journey over and over and over again.
The most difficult hardships have pressed me to become a better therapist. Some of the things I walked through prepared me for part of my current practice although I did not see that when I was going through the hardship. There were times when I felt like I was being crushed in a wine press, or an olive press... when every part of my dream was being brought into question and every part of my character was being inspected, but in the end, on the other side of the severe hard pressing life circumstances, there has come a sweet oil that only Christ has been able to bring through me. In the end, the journey deepened my faith like no other.
Hardship is something we do not invite into our lives. In fact, most of us run from hardship, but when hardship comes, it is our perspective and our faith that will get us through to the other side... to the day when the sun begins to shine again. Eventually, the vineyard owner opens the wine press and cleans the olive press. When the pressure eases, the flawed parts of our character are mashed into the pulp of the wine... or the pulp of the oil. Then, the impurities are strained out. Wine and oil have symbolic meanings in Christendom as they both have healing properties. They have been used to represent spiritual things such as the very presence of the Living Christ and the Healing Balm of Gilead and the anointing of the priests.
Even today, red wine contains tannins that kill parasites and oil keeps parasites from moving or entering the skin. There are so many different applications to just these two substances...
Yet, here... in this place, the pressing and the hardship purified my life. I believe it further qualified me for part of my occupation and ministry. It caused me to be much more sensitive to those who are falsely accused. It caused me to understand how a child can go through imprisonment in an unjust system, endure hardship and how God can move to deliver him from it. It caused me to understand the pain that people undergo who endure public humiliation or gossip. It caused me to remember that we are all just flesh and we require the very presence of a very Living God to sustain us. It is by grace that we live and move and have our being.
Then, without our even noticing it... we have moved forward on our journey. We have touched countless lives along the way by our humanity, our faith, our realities, our joys, our sorrows, and our songs. In reality, there are several races we are called to run... how we run those races, no matter how difficult determines our outcome. If we will choose to STAND in faith believing in our Heavenly Father's ability to carry us through; if we choose to WALK through the circumstances; if we choose to FOCUS our eyes on the truth; if we choose to WORSHIP and PRAISE in the midst of something we simply cannot understand even though our emotions are screaming another language, then we will RUN and NOT WAIT and we will FINISH the RACE... and receive the rewards that are intended for us. Some of those rewards are the very relationships that were forged along the way... other rewards we cannot yet see, but at the end of our life we can hope and pray that we have been wine and oil to all those around us and wear a crown fit for kings. And in the midst of the journey, we have sojourned with the Divine Creator of the Universe... and learned more about what LOVE is... becoming LOVE to a world that is desperate for our forward motion.
With love,
RamyB
They must really know me. Today is such a momentous day for me. It feels as though I have been let out of the race gate and I have finally crossed the finish line. The race was long and tedious, but well worth the effort. There were hardships along the way; some that I thought would literally crush me... at one point, I critically understood how it felt to have a dearly, loved child taken from me and held in a facility that was unjust and unkind to him. I learned how to advocate for him; how to believe in him; how to visit him and remind him that he truly was and is a son of God and God Himself would act on his behalf. Some of these things I can talk about, some I can not talk about, but it caused me to delay my final clinical. Some of these events caused me to rethink my journey over and over and over again.
The most difficult hardships have pressed me to become a better therapist. Some of the things I walked through prepared me for part of my current practice although I did not see that when I was going through the hardship. There were times when I felt like I was being crushed in a wine press, or an olive press... when every part of my dream was being brought into question and every part of my character was being inspected, but in the end, on the other side of the severe hard pressing life circumstances, there has come a sweet oil that only Christ has been able to bring through me. In the end, the journey deepened my faith like no other.
Hardship is something we do not invite into our lives. In fact, most of us run from hardship, but when hardship comes, it is our perspective and our faith that will get us through to the other side... to the day when the sun begins to shine again. Eventually, the vineyard owner opens the wine press and cleans the olive press. When the pressure eases, the flawed parts of our character are mashed into the pulp of the wine... or the pulp of the oil. Then, the impurities are strained out. Wine and oil have symbolic meanings in Christendom as they both have healing properties. They have been used to represent spiritual things such as the very presence of the Living Christ and the Healing Balm of Gilead and the anointing of the priests.
Even today, red wine contains tannins that kill parasites and oil keeps parasites from moving or entering the skin. There are so many different applications to just these two substances...
Yet, here... in this place, the pressing and the hardship purified my life. I believe it further qualified me for part of my occupation and ministry. It caused me to be much more sensitive to those who are falsely accused. It caused me to understand how a child can go through imprisonment in an unjust system, endure hardship and how God can move to deliver him from it. It caused me to understand the pain that people undergo who endure public humiliation or gossip. It caused me to remember that we are all just flesh and we require the very presence of a very Living God to sustain us. It is by grace that we live and move and have our being.
Then, without our even noticing it... we have moved forward on our journey. We have touched countless lives along the way by our humanity, our faith, our realities, our joys, our sorrows, and our songs. In reality, there are several races we are called to run... how we run those races, no matter how difficult determines our outcome. If we will choose to STAND in faith believing in our Heavenly Father's ability to carry us through; if we choose to WALK through the circumstances; if we choose to FOCUS our eyes on the truth; if we choose to WORSHIP and PRAISE in the midst of something we simply cannot understand even though our emotions are screaming another language, then we will RUN and NOT WAIT and we will FINISH the RACE... and receive the rewards that are intended for us. Some of those rewards are the very relationships that were forged along the way... other rewards we cannot yet see, but at the end of our life we can hope and pray that we have been wine and oil to all those around us and wear a crown fit for kings. And in the midst of the journey, we have sojourned with the Divine Creator of the Universe... and learned more about what LOVE is... becoming LOVE to a world that is desperate for our forward motion.
With love,
RamyB
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