Faith

Faith can seem like a loaded word to some. It is a function of belief. The Webster dictionary defines faith as "strong belief or trust in someone or something; belief in the existence of God: strong religious feelings or beliefs; a system of religious beliefs." A logical conclusion then is that belief strengthens faith. What are your beliefs then? What do you trust in?

There are people who have faith in their parent's beliefs, then wonder why their faith wavers during times of stress. Many people do not take the time to examine their beliefs, and a few do. Others have faith in what they know to be true. A few individuals wonder if what they believe is true. Beliefs can be extremely personal, or shared with others. Each person has a right to their beliefs. There is a difference between fact and belief. Belief is defined as "a feeling of being sure that someone or something exists or that something is true" Facts are defined as "something that truly exists or happens: something that has actual existence: a true piece of information." Facts establish existence. Belief is an acknowledgement of said existence. Faith is trusts belief. It is simple. In order to practice true faith, one must know what one believes is based in fact.

I recently read a book by Lee Stroebel called "The Case for Christ." Lee was an Atheist. He set out to disprove Christ's existence. Yet, Stroebel found evidence in support of Jesus' existence historically. Stroebel came to acknowledge not only Christ's existence, but evidence of His resurrection. He found profound evidence of Christ's presence in the lives of people he knows. Consequently, he encountered Christ. When he put his faith into the knowledge that Christ died for him and rose again, his life changed. With the advent of Easter, take a few moments and ask yourself, can I believe in God's unconditional provision of true love for me? Can I believe in unfailing love? The choice is yours.

Emotional Challenges in Trying Times

We are in trying times.  Emotional challenges in trying times can look very different than when in non-trying times.  When stressed, one tends to have more awareness of the world around them and less awareness of their own inability to handle that world.  So the best time to develop a strategy for handling emotional challenges is when the atmosphere is calm and peaceful.  It is not the best strategy to attempt long term solutions when the air is peaked with testy testosterone or feisty estrogen.  Sometimes, trying times and emotional challenges can lead us to challenge the tenets of our faith.

Faith challenges often take us to the core of our beliefs.  These challenges can affect our emotional health and vice versa.  What you believe affects how you behave.  A popular psychologist, Albert Ellis, developed Rational Emotive Belief Therapy (REBT) in the mid-1950's.  His basic premise was that it is your belief about life and things that causes you to have internal discord.  Without going too deeply into a discourse about REBT, which is not the purpose of this discussion, it is important to note that Ellis (1959) determined that individuals have the capacity to change their outcomes by changing their beliefs about a situation.  A theologian, Dr. Paul Carlin (1997) coined his intervention, Belief Therapy and the Therapon Institute to treat disorders related to what people believe.  Dr. Carlin believes that "people do what they do because they believe what they believe."  He admits that his Belief Therapy is based on Ellis' REBT concepts yet integrates the value of scripture.  


So why a discourse on beliefs?  Beliefs impact and directly influence our emotional selves.  What we believe about ourselves directly impacts how we feel about ourselves.  If we believe that we will get through a difficult situation because we are strong, capable individuals, then we will get through it.  Yet, if we believe that we are incapable of handling anything, we will have anxiety about getting through a difficult time.  Inherently, our internal self-talk motivates our outward behaviors.  Who we are on the inside dictates our outward appearance.  Have you heard it said, "you are what you eat?"  In other words, adolescents who eat high fat diets can have a higher incidence of acne.  If you eat too much food in general, you will gain weight beyond your ability to carry that weight.  It is the same way with what you believe.  If you believe that you are ugly, you act in ugly ways either in attitudes, or in the way that you dress.  So how does one change what they believe?  It is important to look at truth.  For Christians, our source of truth, is the Scriptures.  We find out who we are by looking at God's Word.  We know who we are by reading the words written to us by a loving, Heavenly Father.  Words that state that we are "fearly and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139.14) and that nothing can separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39).  If I believe that I am wonderfully made, then I can believe that I am special.  If I can believe that nothing can separate me from the love of God, then I can be securely attached to God knowing that nothing I do can separate me from His love.  These are truths that can be anchors when in emotional turmoil.  Beliefs are not only about spiritual things.  Beliefs are about everything that we hold to be true.  They are about the world that we know.  Individuals often get shaky when their political beliefs are challenged.  Some individuals cannot handle having their beliefs under a microscope.  Their belief system is so entrenched that for anyone to begin to look at what they believe is interpreted as an attack against their person hood.  Yet, for growth to take place, one MUST look at their belief structure.  It is important to understand whether or not you can allow others to have their beliefs without challenging your own beliefs and vice versa.  Accepting another individuals beliefs does not mean that you have to embrace them, it just means that you've come to understand them.  There is wisdom in understanding.  Much of the conflict in today's world is based in the inability to understand one another.  

So how do we get to a place of peace and calm in the midst of such a tumultuous time?  The first act that we can make is to acknowledge that faith in an unseen God is a choice.  Secondly, personal beliefs are just that, personal beliefs.  The restructuring of belief is something that is done not through brow beating, bullying, forcefully demanding one's own way, or by ramming of ideology down one's throat, it is accomplished through loving discourse, acceptance and acknowledgement that the other person sitting in front of you is of value and worth.  If they want to change their beliefs, they will let you know.  If they don't, they will also let you know.  Respect acknowledges the difference.  Personal peace and calm comes from knowing the truth... for a Christian, that means reading God's Word, memorizing what it says about you, and applying it to your life.  There is truth in many walks of life... we can learn from one another if we are willing.


With that...  I lovingly take my leave....
Ramy

The End of a Decade - 2009, The Pruning Process

It amazes me how fast time seems to fly past me. It also seems to be only yesterday that we moved from Nashville to Denver, yet it has been over a year. This year was not as easy as I wish it could have been. Dad fell ill in late May and after four weeks in ICU and multiple infections, went home to be with the Lord Jesus. A short 12 days later, his brother-in-law, my uncle, also passed from this life to the next. Shortly after that death, my dad's other brother-in-law passed away. Only 11 weeks total from the time Dad breathed his last. So my cousins and I have all endured significant life change, learning to live life without our fathers.

My dad considered so many different aspects of life, but in the last six years continued to decline. He was a generous man, yet conservative in almost all of life. After all, my mother and he were married just short of 57 years.

Before coming to Denver, we had to leave our apartment as well as our house in 2008. These changes were not easy for my children to walk through. I am still struggling with some of the ramifications of why we lost our houses, yet I know that each life challenge brings growth rings to our existence.

Have you ever looked at a tree when you cut it down? Each year, a ring grows around the trunk of the tree. Smaller rings represent lean years, and thick rings represent lush years. Now, I am one who doesn't really aspire to be a tree trunk, but the lesson of the tree I do understand, mainly that there are seasons in one's prosperity. There are years where there is a lot of pruning of overgrowth, or pruning of dead wood. Skilled pruners only prune during the late fall or early spring before the growing season begins. I believe these observations can be applied to the dead areas of our life that are not producing fruit. Every time a tree is pruned correctly, it produces a greater harvest not necessarily the very next year, but the year following. It obviously takes time to recover from the seasons of severe pruning.

Many Christians seem to think that every day of every part of their life should be a happy one, especially because we know that Christ lives within us. Yet, I truly believe that Christ wants to perfect in us true character that is free from dead wood. I think that it is important to welcome the pruning years. Without them, we would be living trees that are vulnerable to limb breakage, overcrowding, and non-productivity. This doesn't mean that the Gardener (Christ) abandons us in the midst of our pruning; rather, He watches carefully to make sure that the cuts are clean, appropriately placed and sealed so disease cannot permeate our being. In this way, the Lord Jesus skillfully and gently brings us forward in our unique placement in and amongst a very human society. There are attitudes, belief systems, and actions that all affect our ability to be light in dark places. When we submit to the skillful Gardener's hands, we, in essence, agree to the pruning process. If we agree to this process, we cannot then complain about it as we willfully agreed to be pruned. The hope is that by ridding our lives of negative attitudes, destructive beliefs, and reactions, we become bright, effectual life changers.

Therefore, when death knocks at your door or at the doors of your loved ones, be willing to look at the places that grief has a tendency to expose that are in need of pruning. Take the opportunity to consider where you have traveled, where you are traveling now and where you want to travel in the future. Your success depends on complete submission to the process of getting rid of the undesirable, yet instilling desirable qualities. As we walk forward into 2010, it is important to consider what goals are worthy of pursuing, how to develop the weak areas of our characters, so that they become strengths, and to take the time to renew our minds.

All in all, it is a good place to be... humble, honest, and honorable. Pruning teaches us to persevere, to produce, and to prepare ourselves for the greatest harvests of our lifetimes. I look forward to what the Lord Jesus Christ will produce in me. How about you?

Take care and have a safe New Year!

With Love,
RamyB

(C) 2009, Ramy Bakke, Bakke Music Group

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Valley of Regret

By Ramy A. Bakke, MMFT

"You don't want to squander your wonderful life, to waste your precious life among the hardhearted. Why should you allow strangers to take advantage of you? Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you? You don't want to end your life full of regrets, nothing but sin and bones, Saying, 'Oh, why didn't I do what they told me? Why did I reject a disciplined life? Why didn't I listen to my mentors, or take my teachers seriously? My life is ruined! I haven't one blessed thing to show for my life!' " (Proverbs 5:7-14, The Message, Used with permission)

Have you ever been through a season in your life when things just didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to? Have you regretted things you’ve said? Or done? Have you wished you could do it all over again with the perspective that you’ve gained from being on the other side of the season? I have. I bet you have too.

When we are challenged in the seasons of life with either job loss, loss of health, loss of friends, loss of finances, loss of family members, for some reason or another, we often become highly introspective. This is normal. It is part of the grieving process involved in getting through the losses. Introspection, also called, reflection, can be very healthy if we allow ourselves to be changed through the process. It is when we stay on the merry-go-round and continue to repeat the same eternal life lessons that we fail to achieve what the season has taught us. Then the question is, is our reflection or introspection muddied by some other factor? Are there things that keep us from seeing clearly what it is that we are supposed to see or change? All of these questions can have answers that are highly explainable. It is what we do with these answers that makes the difference between future success and future demise. Every single one of us, if we are honest, has had a season or seasons of loss where we are not as productive as we could have been. Is this a negative in our overall outlook? It depends on our perspective. The most important perspective is God’s perspective. Too often, we get caught up in what others think of us as to whether or not we are successful. But, in the end, this is counterproductive.

It matters not what others think of us, but what our Creator thinks of us. In the Proverb above, the writer says to the listener, “why be exploited by those who care nothing for you...do you want to end your life full of regrets… why didn’t I do what they told me?... why didn’t I listen to my mentors?” The writer is squealing both about those around him who care nothing for him, and for the fact that he didn’t listen to his mentors. He went through a season regretting his life for his mistakes and for those around him who he cared about, but who exploited him. This is where the tendency to lose perspective can overtake a man or woman who is lost in the season of low productivity and loss. You can hear the pain in the writer’s voice about those around him who exploited him. He regrets allowing himself to be exploited. You can hear the pain in his voice when he regrets not listening to those who were placed in his life to teach him and lead him. Yet, he has a choice. He can stay in the place called, “regret,” or he can pick himself up and move beyond it towards a new season of growth and productivity. He can practice self-reflection and learn from his mistakes, thereby, getting off the merry-go-round of un-productivity, or he can choose to stay in the place of regret and repeat the cycle of loss.

Either way, His Creator will love Him until He can make the right choices. What kind of love is this that allows us to learn from just such a season? It is the same kind of love that allows us to learn from our choices and to own our part in the consequences of choice. There are many lately who want to legislate choice for others. There are many moral reasons to legislate choices, such as: “Should the drinking age be lowered to 18?” “Should we allow credit card companies to set their own interest rates?” “Should we allow women to be in control of their own bodies?” Many of these questions are hotly debated choices, yet, in the end, we are all responsible for our own choices and the consequences of our choices. We are responsible for how we treat others; for how we love one another; for how we accept one another; for how we live with one another, etc. It is important that we know for certain that our choices are going to be choices we can live with, so life will not be full of regret. For to live in the valley of regret is to live in the valley of loss which is not a happy place to be.

So whether you are in a season of great loss (which many in the nation are) or in a season of rebuilding, or in a season of great success, it is important to practice healthy introspection/ reflection. Evaluate where you are, where you have been and where you are going. Remember that where you have been does not have to dictate where you are going, but it can teach you the important lessons that will help you have a more productive future. Accept the losses as lessons and move forward into life as an active learner. But most of all, know that your Heavenly Father, the Creator of your soul is not angry with you, nor impatient with your learning process. He is with you and nearest to you even in the humblest of times. He believes in you and will cheer you on. Even if you feel no one is with you, He is with you and will never forsake you! And know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are loved… so I invite you to move out of the valley of regret into a place of healthy reflection where you can learn to move into your future with acceptance and grace!

RamyB

© 2009, RamyB, Bakke Music Group

Unexpected Delays

In Denver, Colorado, on December 20, 2008, around 6:18 p.m., a Continental Airlines jet aborted takeoff for some unknown reason and experienced an accident which caused the airliner to come off the runway and descend down a ravine (click on the title above and you can read the Denver Post article). It consequently came apart and caught on fire. 34 people were injured, but there were no deaths. This was for all involved an unexpected delay in the journey we call life. I am certain the families of those involved were all extremely alarmed, yet thankful that there was no loss of life in this tragic airline accident.

What this accident is exemplary of is the reality that unexpected events happen to us. How we respond to these events is what determines our character. If we respond with a lot of anger, disgust and bitterness towards those who have caused the delay, we may not understand what we were saved from. Perhaps, by being delayed at the beginning of the Continental Airlines flight, those on the flight were saved from being killed all together if the flight were to have taken off and crashed in route. We just don't know what would have happened. We only know that the pilot in his wisdom aborted the takeoff. He obviously saw something that wasn't right.

I was changing a switch fixture the other day and the wiring didn't look right. It had been there for 50 years in my parent's house. I told my parents that I felt safer if a hired electrician came and took a look at the switch housing and investigated the wiring. So they asked a friend of theirs, a retired electrician to come and look at the wiring. They were delayed in getting the switched fixed, but when the electrician came, he had to rewire the entire box as it had completely shorted out and had been on fire at some time, but the fire had gone out. Thankfully, my parents had been saved from any damage to their house. Sometimes, delays cause us to look more intensively into a problem in order to find the source of a deeper problem in order to fix whatever is wrong.

There are lots of things that happen to us that we cannot explain. Red lights or construction on the roadway often cause people to get angry because they are kept from getting to their destination. Instead of getting angry there is other responses that are possible. One could choose to take a moment to rest, to breathe, to realize that not all delays are meant to be impediments. Sometimes delays are moments forced upon us to cause us to rethink our direction. Sometimes delays are placed to keep us from accidents that would take our lives.

Sometimes delays are forced upon us because we are too hard headed to rest otherwise. Unexpected delays are not necessarily bad events. It is how we response to delay that proves who our character. This Christmas season, there may be many opportunities to experience delay, perhaps a crowded checkout line, a busy highway, a long travel line, etc., we have the perfect opportunity to display the true Spirit of Christmas and make a choice to respond rightly to the unexpected delays that are presented to us.

It is my prayer that the unconditional love of Christ Jesus be made known to you during this season and no matter what happens in your day to day lives, that you discover the true peace that comes with knowing a love that is deep and far and wide and fully capable of carrying you through any delay, any unexpected happening that may upset your life. May each delay cause you to see an opportunity to rest and take a second look at your direction and know that you have someone who wants your best helping you get to your destination safely.

With love and compassion,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

RamyB

Sometimes Life Happens

Have you ever encountered a day where life seems to just happen to you in a way that completely disrupts your routine and re-routes your life forever? Perhaps you have encountered many of those days. I am certain that many soldiers can understand what it is like to encounter disruption when they lose a limb or are injured by bombs. Many civilians are also caught unaware by disruptions such as drunk drivers, car accidents, deer standing in the road, car bombs, doctors telling them they have cancer, etc.

These life changing moments can be overwhelming at times, but God has built into our bodies a mechanism to enable us to overcome these moments. It is a tiny little part of our brain called the amygdala which kicks into overdrive during these times of crisis. It takes over for the conscious mind and runs the body helping us to cope during crisis until the conscious mind can handle coming to the surface again. It constantly amazes me the more I study the human body how uniquely we are all formed. We are created to withstand incredible amounts of stress, yet there is a limit to the amount the human body can withstand before it starts to break down.

I often wonder if catastrophic life events aren't reminders to us to slow down. I am not saying that they are God ordained, I am saying that things happen sometimes for a reason. I believe that God knows everything that is going to happen in the universe and I believe that He knows how to help us through these events. Some of us get so caught up in our every day affairs that we forget to take the time to get quiet before our Maker, to listen for His still small, yet large voice. Sometimes, I believe that we get sick because we are not taking the Sabbath day off to rest like we are supposed to as God designed the Sabbath day to be. Instead we are using that day to go bike riding, playing golf, hiking mountains, etc. In the scripture, it states that on the 7th day, God rested from creating the world. This is the prototype for all creation. We are encouraged to rest from creating... from working, from doing. Many of us grew up in families where we were made to feel guilty for resting... well, today, I'm going to give you permission to rest. I'm going to give you permission to not feel guilty for taking care of your body. You might say, "who am I that I can give you permission?"... my answer is that "I am a child of God, just as you are a child of God... and I release you from the guilt and shame that anyone has put on you that is not from God, and I release you to be who you are as His child because that is what His word releases me to do as His child."

Now, I know that people from all over the world read this blog... so I hope that you can understand that I care for you, each and every one of you. I am saddened by the events in Pakistan especially, and I pray for my friends and readers in Pakistan. I pray for peace and tranquility to come to your door. Most of all, I pray for peace and rest. May the God of the Heavens and the earth give you peace and rest in Christ Jesus! Amen and amen!

RamyB

Happy 36th Birthday

Happy 36th Birthday

Jeannette!!

November 25, 2007

I pray the Angels are celebrating your day with you! I miss you… I find it hard to believe that you are gone, never to walk on this earth, in this plane again. At least you are free, whole and out of pain. I wish more people could have understood you.

I wish more could have understood your pain and suffering and welcomed you with more grace. I know it was not easy to live and survive through the pain that you endured. But you did… each day you got up and each day you lived as best you could with the tools and grace you received from Father God.

I had such hopes for you. I had hoped that you could have overcome some of your addictions and enjoyed complete freedom from illness. I had hoped that you could have found a husband to love you and been able to have children. I suppose that the Lord Jesus was more interested in bringing you home to be your husband. You are now a perfect bride: the bride of Christ. We are all destined to be His bride. You just beat us to the punch. I applaud you at finishing your race. I know you are surprised at being in Heaven now.

I wish for us that we could have learned to love you better… to understand how to care for you better. Yet, in the time that you were here, we learned a lot about how to love a severely broken individual. You taught us a lot about how to listen, how to stretch our hearts to embrace that which we did not understand. You taught me how to see beyond my earthly limits. Father put you here to teach me many things… I only wish that you did not have to suffer the rejection of those who did not understand you. Now you get to run with the angels… enjoy the presence of the King of Kings my dear daughter… give Him a huge hug and kiss for me! I love you and miss you much! You will get to spend Jesus’ Birthday with Him… amazing! What a celebration that will be… know that we all miss you and love you!

Love, Miss Ramy

A Father's Love Letter

My friends...

I have a special letter that I want you to read, please go to this link http://fathersloveletter.com/English/FLL8.5x11ColorPoster.pdf, and read about your Heavenly Father's love for you. He desires that you know and understand that love is more important than hate; more important than war; more important than winning... more important than divorcing your spouse. Perhaps you are warring considerable discouragement today. My pastor, Reba Rambo McGuire, would tell you that to be discouraged means that you have dissed your courage. So get back up and walk with courage. Perhaps you are angry about someone's offense toward you, make an effort to mend the wrong. Yes, I'm asking you to go to the person and try to make it right. Perhaps it will be you who is the bigger person (D. McGuire, 2007). You are more precious than gold to your creator. It is not in His design that we destroy each other on this earth with our ideologies, our political views, our religious zealousies... it is His desire that you see how much He loves you and that He has made provision for you. He has not counted your sins against you. He has paid for them already in His son, Jesus.

The scripture says that even the earth groans for the revelation of God's glory in the earth... we have the capacity to shine with His glory when we love each other and love each other deeply from the heart. He is love. Do something kind today for someone else. Love them without expecting anything in return. Give to others without expecting a return. Then, your Father in Heaven will see your behavior. He will see the love that you have and He will fill you to overflowing with love and blessings. So be encouraged today! Lift up your chins! Smile even though it hurts because your Father in Heaven has not missed that you are hurting and help is on the way. He is nearest the broken hearted. Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you! (James 4:8 NIV) Today is your day for breakthrough, I sense it.

RamyB

This letter is courtesy of Father Heart Communications Copyright 1996-2005 www.fathersloveletter.com

The Ruminate: The Week's News

The Ruminate: The Week's News

The Heroic Age

This blog is written by a former classmate of mine, Larry Swain. I am posting it for your information and resource. He has done a lot of research that is useful and particularly interesting. The Ruminate is also his blog! So happy reading!

RamyB

The Sun is Up

Amazing... the night has gone, a new day has dawned. Today is a fresh new day. There are fresh, new, exciting horizons waiting to be explored. It is all about perspective. 6:26 A.M. Central time... kittens are stirring, the dogs are snoring and my teenagers are snuggled in their cozy little beds. Not for long, I think. I ponder the ability to sit and enjoy the quiet (except for the road noise in front of the house). It was quiet a few hours ago.

Pastor talked this last Wednesday about taking the opportunity to make each day a day to rejoice by choosing to rejoice. There is so much truth in this simple statement. Joy by choice. Perhaps it should be stated, "joy by re-choice," for as you know the minute you choose to be joyful, the test will come to steal away your joy.

Today, just for today... make an effort to have joy by choice. For you have a Father up in the Heavens who loves you compassionately, dearly and completely... He is a good God. He desires good things for you and certainly today, IN today, He can help you find joy!

"For this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 NIV I guess that means it takes both of us to be joyful... you and I are in this together!

My Best....

RamyB

New Links

As you can see, the look of Sacred Ponders is changing. I am making available to you links to some of my favorite merchants. I love to sail, so there is an abundance of marine merchandise available. West Marine does business with several countries around the world, so I hope it can help many of you who have needs and want to buy product for a good price.

Little by little, I will add more links as I find merchants that I like who I want to share with you. When you buy from these merchants you help me do what I do and you help me minister to people who cannot afford to receive ministry or counseling. So I appreciate your patronage.

Blessings to you,

RamyB

My Jeremiah... My Friend... What He Taught Me About the Kind of Parent I Am

Many people find solace in furry friends. I tend to rescue these furry critters. I am richly blessed with quite a few. One of these lovely creatures snuck into a very deep place of my heart. I rescued him almost four years ago. When I found him, he was a four week old kitten with his four siblings. He had been abandoned by his mother in an apartment complex.

The kittens had to be bottle fed. Four of them died from complications of immature lungs and pneumonia. Jeremiah was the only one to survive. He would hold his bottle with his paws. He would sleep with me and wrap his paws around my neck. He bonded with me. I became his mother. His keeper.

Later, as he grew, he became one of my greatest comforting companions. He would sit with me. He had to have his time with me and would compete with the other animals to sit with me. He would sit on my chest and wrap his arms around my neck, snuggling his nose into my neck. There were times when he would hug my arm with his paws... squeezing my arm tightly between his paws. He would stay with me if I was sick almost guarding me from any intruder.

Jeremiah was bitten earlier this year by a snake and got an abcess in his rear end. I helped him by cleaning the wound and then took him to the vet. I was the only one he would let near him. He was so thankful that I cleaned his wound that he would sit on my shoulder at night and snuggle his nose into my neck. He had to be with me. We had this connection... it was a special connection. I believe God gave him to me at a time when I needed a special furry friend.

On August 1st of this year, he went missing. We live on two acres in a rural town. There are woods behind my house. Sometimes, there are coyotes who run in the woods. Sometimes there are mountain lions. I don't know what happened, but today, we found my little friend's body on my front lawn. It was so very hard to find him. My dogs have a habit of finding road kill and bringing it up onto the lawn, so I went outside with my oldest son to see what the dogs had brought onto the lawn, but when we went to bag the animal, we realized it was my special friend. Gosh it was sad. So very sad. We immediately took him to bury him in the back yard.

Someone sent me a link today about a Lion's Kiss. It was a segment about a lion who had bonded with his keeper. His keeper had rescued him and taken care of him. Animals respond to love much in the same way that humans respond to love. Love and kindness goes a long way in reaching both animal kingdom and humanity. I have learned so much in taking care of these helpless animals. They are dependent on us to take care of them until they are well enough to get up and run on their own. Then once they are able to run, they want to run independent of us. Although they want to be independent, they are still greatly connected to us and want to be reminded of how much we love them. It is important that we remind them that we love them.

It is the same way with children. When they are infants, they are extremely dependent on us for all of their needs. As they grow, they are developing a level of independence (if we allow them to develop independence). As they reach adolescence, they start to reach for the edge of the nest looking back often to see if Mom and Dad are still there to love them should they fall when they fall out of the nest. Adolescents need a lot of encouragement to not only remain independent, but to also know that they are loved unconditionally, even if they fail.

It is not easy to love a teen who is testing the boundaries of love, yet it is part of their growing up process. Teenagers are learning to identify who they are as they test, argue, debate and challenge. In a loving environment, they can learn to ask questions within a framework that is accepting of these challenges.

I didn't like it when Jeremiah wanted to go out to hunt at night, but I always knew he would come back by morning. This time, he didn't come back. We can't always control what happens in life, but we can control our responses to the things that come our way. We can control our reactions to the challenges. When our teenagers are challenging us as parents, we have a choice. We can look at their challenge as an opposition to our way of doing things, or we can look at what it is they are trying to learn about themselves. Often, the challenge is simply an illustration of the teenagers feeling of being overwhelmed by the demands of this life, or our demands. By simplifying our demands, we can often alleviate the challenges to our way of doing things.

As a Ph.D. learner, I will probably always study the characteristics of how animals relate to us and how children relate to us, as well as how we relate to each other, but I hope in the end, I learn more about the love that occurs when we accept each other fully, love each other fully and look for the reasons as to why we challenge each other.

Christ calls us to love everyone unconditionally with an equal amount of love. It doesn't say anywhere in the scripture (that I can find) that we are to select those who are the best ones to help us get up in the world. It only calls us to love those who are brought across our path. I believe the scripture states very clearly that we are to love those who hate us (Matthew 5:43-47). "If we love those who love us, what reward will you get?"(46a) The scripture puts forth the challenge to us to love our enemies. Love those who may not act exactly as we want them to, think like we want them to, do like we want them to, like us like we want them to, or believe like we want them to. True Christianity means not putting self at the center of your focus, but Christ at the center of your focus. It means putting love as your aim. The goal is to learn to love... and to love all!!

Well, I am getting off my soap box now. I believe that being a good keeper, a good parent, a good friend, a good lover, a good Christian, means that I am willing to love unconditionally, to think the best, to believe in the best, to accept the people who are put in my path (even if they are negative), to love these people to the best of my ability and to care for those for whom I have been given charge. When I am selfless, I can get a good picture of who Christ is within me. If I am focused solely on what my destiny is about, then I am focused too much on me and not enough on Christ and what His goals are. When I stop looking at self and start gazing on the King of Kings, then all those who are entrusted to me become beautiful even with all of their flaws... I can see glory flowing through the cracks because God shines in them. Even the animals have God's Spirit flowing in their veins. He is the beginning of all and the ending of all.

We are called to love first... if we spend our time loving, we will end up having fulfilled our destiny and at the end of our lives, we can look back and say that we reached the goal.

With love,

RamyB

How Do I Get Through the Death of a Love One?

The answer to this question, is simply... moment by moment. When your loved one knows the Lord Jesus, there is the renewed hope that your loved one has passed on into eternity and is living with Jesus, the angels and others who have already passed to the other side. There is no one who can really tell you the right words... in fact, sometimes, what you will really need is the presence of trusted loved ones for days, months and even years after your loved one has made their transition from this life to the next.

It is HARD to be left behind. No one can really imagine just how hard it is. It is something you have to walk through. Thankfully, Father God created our brains in such a way as to help us through these significantly traumatic times. Our emotional brain, the amygdala, will bypass the cognitive brain temporarily and run on autopilot in an effort to help your body get through the amazing stress. Then as days go by, little by little, your emotions come alive again. You cease being numb and the reality of the absence of this precious life hits you. These are times when you must not go it alone. You must take the time to call someone who can get you through these days.

Be especially kind to yourself... take hot baths, hire a maid, take walks, sit in silence with best friends and enjoy one another's company. Draw from around you the strength that others have to present to you. It is okay for men to cry. Grieve and grieve fully. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to get through it and move on. Sowing a trusted loved one into heaven is the toughest kind of seed you can sow. It is precious seed.

Know that you will get through this time. You will learn to breathe again. You will be able to sing songs again. Right now, the pain is very real... and there is no need to hide it. If you have to, take some time off of work, or switch to a job where you don't have to interact with people, so you can grieve while you work. Ask co-workers to allow you the space to grieve. Believe in yourself.

You are also precious. If you get depressed and cannot get up out of the depression, see a doctor who can help you. Talk to someone... get help. Call a crisis line. There are people out there who have walked through the very same things you are walking through. Join a grief recovery group. Share your story and be present for someone else walking through the loss of a loved one. Together, you will journey on towards wholeness and you will have gained a new friend.

Just know that I understand how tender and raw you might be right now and I believe that Father God is especially close to those who are broken hearted. Reach up, open your arms and allow Him to flood you with His comforting peace. For you will.... find peace.

Be kind to yourself dear ones... you can get through this time. Believe... have hope... you will see your loved one again when we all pass from this world into the next in eternity.

With love,
RamyB

Believe

Sometimes there are times in life when we are tempted in life to believe or not believe in times of crisis. These critical moments challenge our very make up. We wonder if we ever really knew ourselves or if an alien had picked us up and reformed us on some strange unknown planet. Yet, deep down, when we listen quietly, we hear the truth about what we are really made of. Sometimes that truth is not easy to face, but there is, in the end, always... ALWAYS... someone who will love us. That someone is our Creator. Even if all of the created world has walked out on us, our creator... Father God, Himself, walks in and welcomes us home.

To believe means to ascribe to a tenent, or a belief, or a statement of idealogical thought about how we want to live our lives. One of the beliefs that I have no problem believing in is the FACT that I am a created being who is fearfully and wonderfully made. I also have no problem believing that my Creator has my "Best Interests" in His mind. Why do I think that? For this simple reason... an investor would not create his best creation for the junk pile. An investor would create his best creation for great things. With Father God, we are ALL His BEST creations. He deems us all His BEST INTERESTS... and He invests in us... His own Son, Christ Jesus, the Anointed One.

The New Testament states that if you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ you will be saved... in other words, you receive what Jesus Christ did for you by taking your place and paying for all of your bad deeds. But, it is better than that... He wants to love you. He wants a love relationship with you. He wants to instill His dreams, His hopes and His desires into your heart.

So... take the time to believe...

RamyB

Even Though The Storm Rages... He Is In The Eye of the Storm

If anyone has ever been through a difficult storm such as a hurricane, a tornado, a blinding blizzard, they know that in the middle of the storm there is often a place of peace or a moment of calm before the storm begins to rage again. In a hurricane, it is called the eye of the storm. Even in blinding blizzards, there is often a lull and then another wave of storm.

It amazes me at times how nature gives way to humanity almost as if we need a breather, a chance to catch our breath. I believe it is God's way of speaking to us, letting us know that He is there, even in the fiercest of circumstances. He is there to help us through.

I can think of many storms in my life where I didn't think I was going to make it through to the other side of the storm. I remember driving through a horrific, blinding blizzard. It was like driving with roller skates on sheer ice. It took us five hours to travel 100 miles. Normally, it would have taken 90 minutes, but the storm was so bad that everyone was travelling very slowly and we could barely see the car in front of us. There were cars in ditches. We couldn't pull over to the side of the road because we were in the mountains and the nearest town was 100 miles away. Even the tractor trailers were having difficulty with the journey. Yet, I knew, as my roommates slept, that someone bigger than me was travelling with us keeping us all safe.

When we got to the next town which was out of the mountains, there was a lull in the storm, so I drove on through another three hours, finally to the end of the storm. One of my roommates suddenly woke up and asked if I wanted her to drive. I said, "yes." As soon as my body hit the passenger side, I fell into a deep sleep. My roommates said I could not be awakened for the next 500 miles. I had driven us through the most difficult part of the trip... the blinding. They slept through it, but we were not alone. It was the middle of the night, but I, the driver, was not alone. He was there in the eye of the storm. He kept me awake, alert, and safe. I'll never forget it.

There are so many other kinds of storms we experience in life... times when things happen beyond out control, yet He is there with us even if we cannot see His sustaining hand.

(c) 2007, RamyB

Forward Motion on the Journey

Today, I received word from my professor that I had passed my final clinical for my master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. This has been two years in the waiting. My expression was an elated YIPPEE!!! My children were excited and I laughed as my daughter stated VERY clearly, "Mom, make sure you finish the second master's degree before you start the third one." Of course, this is the first one and I am working on a second one already.

They must really know me. Today is such a momentous day for me. It feels as though I have been let out of the race gate and I have finally crossed the finish line. The race was long and tedious, but well worth the effort. There were hardships along the way; some that I thought would literally crush me... at one point, I critically understood how it felt to have a dearly, loved child taken from me and held in a facility that was unjust and unkind to him. I learned how to advocate for him; how to believe in him; how to visit him and remind him that he truly was and is a son of God and God Himself would act on his behalf. Some of these things I can talk about, some I can not talk about, but it caused me to delay my final clinical. Some of these events caused me to rethink my journey over and over and over again.

The most difficult hardships have pressed me to become a better therapist. Some of the things I walked through prepared me for part of my current practice although I did not see that when I was going through the hardship. There were times when I felt like I was being crushed in a wine press, or an olive press... when every part of my dream was being brought into question and every part of my character was being inspected, but in the end, on the other side of the severe hard pressing life circumstances, there has come a sweet oil that only Christ has been able to bring through me. In the end, the journey deepened my faith like no other.

Hardship is something we do not invite into our lives. In fact, most of us run from hardship, but when hardship comes, it is our perspective and our faith that will get us through to the other side... to the day when the sun begins to shine again. Eventually, the vineyard owner opens the wine press and cleans the olive press. When the pressure eases, the flawed parts of our character are mashed into the pulp of the wine... or the pulp of the oil. Then, the impurities are strained out. Wine and oil have symbolic meanings in Christendom as they both have healing properties. They have been used to represent spiritual things such as the very presence of the Living Christ and the Healing Balm of Gilead and the anointing of the priests.

Even today, red wine contains tannins that kill parasites and oil keeps parasites from moving or entering the skin. There are so many different applications to just these two substances...

Yet, here... in this place, the pressing and the hardship purified my life. I believe it further qualified me for part of my occupation and ministry. It caused me to be much more sensitive to those who are falsely accused. It caused me to understand how a child can go through imprisonment in an unjust system, endure hardship and how God can move to deliver him from it. It caused me to understand the pain that people undergo who endure public humiliation or gossip. It caused me to remember that we are all just flesh and we require the very presence of a very Living God to sustain us. It is by grace that we live and move and have our being.

Then, without our even noticing it... we have moved forward on our journey. We have touched countless lives along the way by our humanity, our faith, our realities, our joys, our sorrows, and our songs. In reality, there are several races we are called to run... how we run those races, no matter how difficult determines our outcome. If we will choose to STAND in faith believing in our Heavenly Father's ability to carry us through; if we choose to WALK through the circumstances; if we choose to FOCUS our eyes on the truth; if we choose to WORSHIP and PRAISE in the midst of something we simply cannot understand even though our emotions are screaming another language, then we will RUN and NOT WAIT and we will FINISH the RACE... and receive the rewards that are intended for us. Some of those rewards are the very relationships that were forged along the way... other rewards we cannot yet see, but at the end of our life we can hope and pray that we have been wine and oil to all those around us and wear a crown fit for kings. And in the midst of the journey, we have sojourned with the Divine Creator of the Universe... and learned more about what LOVE is... becoming LOVE to a world that is desperate for our forward motion.

With love,
RamyB

Safe Harbor

Oil Painting by John Poon

(c) John Poon

This painting called, "Safe Harbor" by John Poon, who lives in Wyoming with his wife and five children and family pet, Sven, is one of the best depictions of safe harbor that I have seen in a long while.

The phrase "safe harbor" is used commonly when referring to periods of sanctuary from any storm. That storm can be a physical storm, spiritual storm, emotional storm, verbal storm, etc. There are many applications for the phrase "safe harbor." But safe harbor most often draws me to the place of sanctuary from a physical storm or emotional storm. Every seafarer, airplane traveller, hiker, skiier, family member, etc., knows what it is like to experience a very traumatic physical or emotional storm. There is nothing like the experience of coming into a safe harbor, either, during the storm, or after the storm has passed.

For some people, the storm has torn up every normal piece of surrounding and there is literally no way for someone to catch their bearing. In death, most of the relatives and friends leave a couple of weeks after the funeral and the bereaved one remaining is left to pick up the pieces totally alone. For this person, a trusted friend can choose to become a "safe harbor" for the one who is experiencing loss. It is no understatement to note that in order to be someone else's "safe harbor" you must also be safe yourself. You must have anchored yourself well in the balance of life. As you can see from John Poon's picture, the fisherman tethered his boat to the pier to keep it from floating away. This particular pier looks like it has stone underneath it, that means it is more securely anchored than a floating pier. The fisherman knew which pier to anchor his vessel.

In the midst of a great physical storm, it can be difficult to find the place to securely anchor one's self especially if the storm tore to pieces the house, the church, the family, the marriage, the hillside, or any other part of life that had to go through the tulmult. Yet, there is one sure anchor. In the Psalms, King David wrote his enemies were all around him and war was breaking out in every region around him, he was being slandered and people were bringing false accusations against him, he chose to not be afraid. Why? Because He knew he could trust in the God of his fathers to deliver him. Psalm 27:5For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. (New International Version: Used with permission) King David knew that Father God would hide him in His dwelling (the Temple - which is where God's presence dwells) and the shelter of the tabernacle (which is the place of worship) and during his time of duress even though the storm raged, Father God would give him the highest vantage point on a secure footing, a rock, from which he could see how to defeat his enemies.

Now, in the New Covenant, we know that Father God chooses to live in our Temple (which is our earthly body) by the presence of the Holy Spirit and His son, Jesus Christ, when we dwell together with Him in worship and through worship and by worship. In His presence, we are hidden safely from all harm. Even though physically, there is no physical building around us, worship happens the moment we turn our eyes toward heaven and begin to thank the Creator, Father God for allowing us to have life, breath, limbs, love, bread, children, money, cars, etc. As we move into worship and thanksgiving, we enter the "safe harbor" and become anchored to the rock, which is the Christ, Jesus Christ, who is immovable, by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit then elevates us to a position above the storm whereby we can see the path out of the wreck that the storm has created.

There are moments... when we are called to enter into worship corporately and become safe harbor for one another. These are the times when it is necessary for the one who is able to carry the one who is broken into the place of worship, just as the one who was too sick to see Jesus was lowered into the place where Jesus was. By being Jesus to others, we become the presence of Christ that shelters others from the storm when they are unable to enter in on their own accord. Together, then, we are able to walk into the very presence of a very loving God, who desires nothing more than to love on His creation and restore them back into fullness of being.

This then is the true meaning of safe harbor. In that place, we all have the capacity to become vehicles of calm and transcendence of God's presence into a broken and torn apart world.

What kind of harbor are you?

With love,

RamyB

(c) 2007, Ram's Horn Ministries, with exception of photo of painting which belongs exclusively to John Poon.

Balancing on the Balance Beam of Life

Sometimes these days I feel torn between all of the demands prevailing upon the few hours that I have each day available for personal endeavors. Most of my day is committed to raising my children. Then a greater part of the next segment of my day is spent finishing my clinical for my Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. It seems like I don't have any time for anything else, let alone eat, sleep, wash the clothes, walk the dogs, and breathe.

One of the things I am trying to force myself to do is find ten minutes each day to sit on the side of the road and meditate on balancing my life and what that would really look like. I believe that it starts with focusing my strength and energy on worshipping a very living God who loves the Universe, yet, that focus must also have a practical reach in that if I spend all of my time up in the clouds, I will have no earthly value. Yet, if I take what I learn in the clouds and dispense it to those I interact with not so much with my words, but with my actions, then I will definitely have the value that is needed to make a world impact.

It is so easy these days to get things out of balance. But if we are faithful to ourselves and to our Creator, He will help us find the true center that keeps us in balance and in touch with a practical reach. I know that the very next time I start to feel overwhelmed with the things of this life, I will remind myself that I have lost my focus and inevitably lost my effective reach. To this end, the only way to get back into focus is to get back to that ten-minute time slot where I can afford to seek my Father in Heaven and get His perspective... sometimes to be honest, I end up spending more time than ten minutes, but somehow, the rest of the day comes together in a perfect array.

After all, if the Creator of the Universe knew how to create such vast and enormous heavenly creations and create you and I, then how much more can He help us with our every day, mundane lives.

My best to you,
RamyB